Hi everyone! (ACHOO!). June has arrived (SNIFF). And with it, meteorological summer (ACHOO!). Although, from all the rain we’ve had (SNIFF), you wouldn’t know it (*BLOWS NOSE*).

OK, that was my pretty lame attempt at telling you that I am in full on HAY FEVER season. Sadly, this does not mean that I (James) am starring in the latest revival of Noel Coward’s 1925 comedy, Hay Fever, the namesake of this ghastly affliction. Rather, the common spring/summer allergy is out to get me with a vengeance.

As someone who often spends the summer doing a fair bit of open air theatre and, would you believe, plenty of outdoor  Nutty’s parties, I really am an open goal for all of that pesky pollen flying about. 

Hay fever comes at different times for different people - for some, it is as early as February! I am more of a late sniffler; you could almost set your watch by when my hay fever starts and ends: the twenty-something of May to late middle of July. More of that in a bit.

If you are lucky enough not to be allergic to pollen - for that is what this allergy is - then perhaps you are enjoying the gentle passing of weeks through the summer months: barbecues, picnics and beer gardens aplenty.

Personally, I am always looking forward to August. Although the weather in that month can be more dicey (I mean, to be fair it’s pretty dicey at the mo too), at least the hay fever season is well and truly done with. 

I know plenty of people who are affected by hay fever, but few who are as troubled with it as I. At absolute peak times, I take Fexofenadine, the strongest prescribed antihistamine the UK has to offer, twice daily. Unfortunately it offers little relief. 

But anyway, I really must apologise for my moaning and adopt a more positive tone. So, below are three home remedies that have helped me over the years. And if, like me, you or your children will be sneezing your way through the weeks ahead, they may work for you too.

1. Just a spoonful of…Local Honey! The best home remedy I have ever come across! Merely a teaspoon’s worth every morning can really help to keep the local pollen at bay. I don’t quite understand the science of it. Something to do with honey…bees…pollen? Sure. But it works. The drawbacks are that it must be local to where you are. So if you, like the Nutty’s gang, are South London based but then decide to head down to Kent for a Sunday walk and pub lunch, your proud SE or SW honey will be less affective. But still, give it a go!

2)   A thin layer of vaseline around your nostrils. Apparently this can catch the pollen before it goes up your nose and sets off the sneezes. I can’t say for sure that this has ever made a huge difference for me but I have always done it anyway. I mean, why not? It’s easy, inexpensive and does no harm. In fact, with the amount I have to blow my nose over this period, it helps to sooth my skin if nothing else. 

3)   Steam Inhalation. Get a heatproof bowl of boiled water, cover your head and the bowl with a towel (making sure to maintain a good distance between your face and the water), and breathe in the steam. This will loosen up the mucus in your nostrils and help you breathe a little more easily. Quite often the relief is only temporary but when your nose has been bunged up for hours on end, the briefest of respites is most welcome. And agin, it is easy to do and costs nothing!

The hay fever calendar is, for me, usually bookended by two clear markers. Over the last few years I have spent the fourth week of May working at the Chelsea Flower Show. As delightful as this is, it’s a nightmare on the pollen front (the clue is in the title). This is typically when it all kicks off. Cue eight weeks of sniffling and sneezing and I can only apologise to those people who have to endure this. You know you’re sniffing way too much when a random stranger on the train offers you a tissue! 

It winds down by the end of the middle of July (if you follow). My Grandad Bob’s birthday (96 this year) is on 21st July. Granny has always said “hay fever is over by Grandad’s birthday”. And she’s not wrong. By the end of July, it’s well and truly done with and Kleenex will doubtless see a slump in sales. 

It’s really not all bad. In the grand scheme of things I suppose its one of those ‘first world problems’. Plenty of things to distract myself: work, summer pints with friends and a myriad of General Election podcasts. Five weeks to go. ACHOO!